The Beloved LucifielBimo was one of the remaining Young Diviner in UI, with Tarot Card as his main weapon, and still considered as one of the best although he always said, “there always a sky above” or “I just doing the job I am capable of”
Bimo also a war-torn veteran, who is looking for a new peaceful life far from the battlefield. The war has torn him so much that he became loner, rather paranoid and develops a rare obsession about data…an effect called Combat Fatigue. He try so hard to cure this with a little effect because…..sadly….the war always looking for him
Bimo just want to be an ordinary human although what left now from his humanity is a trace of his brain and a memory of a woman who is crying when she seeing his eyes. He still doesn’t know why that memory existed but he grew to care, protect and love that woman. He always mentions that woman as “The Saint Phenomena” or “The Girl with A Shining Bright Eyes & Beautiful Smile”. He doesn’t want anything from that woman, he just make sure that woman always get the best.
Bimo is a pacifist; always try to avoid conflict with anyone or anything. If everything can be solved with a diplomatic way, he prefers to do it rather than an open frontal way. He always tried to maintain balance & his neutrality. However, this doesn’t mean he can’t fight…he just don’t want to. Some report indicate that when forced to fight, he will became your worst nightmare because Bimo reported having a Berserk System, capable of letting loose his true without any feeling anymore (& he hate & loved it want it happen). Bimo can be your most truthful friend who will die for you & your cause and Bimo can be your worst enemy who will make sure you suffer & die smoothly.
Some says Bimo were frightening. This is due his nature as a shell for something he doesn’t want to reveal. He always says that his purpose of life is to seal something, and he is quite ready to be called back (that how he described death). He also says that he just waiting his visa to be signed.
Bimo was a family man. He will protect and care his beloved one to the death even beyond it because, for him that is what remains from his belonging. He says we can buy house, we can acquired wealth, we can takeover a nation, but a good happy family is a gift from God and to maintain it is one hell of a job.
Bimo now were looking for someone who will succeed him.He just wants to pass his knowledge.He himself feel that he is growing too old and need to settle down continuing life as it is.His days are now counted although he never knows when it ends.
Bimo was a commando unit,able to work alone on any multiple tasks without the help of others.The world has taught him to grow up like that, to trust no one,to be always perfectionist,to set a high standard in everything,and to maintain “I can do it by myself” kind of attitude.Sadly,all of his ability comes with a terrible price, his lack of social and interpersonal skill.He like to be alone and stay in the shadow,watching people passing by.He keep his grief, pain and suffering to himself Nobody know what happened to him until suddenly they see him lying on a hospital bed, with a bloody arms and said “I’m okay,never been to better than this” or until suddenly he collapse in a bench with a pain in his face but he keep smiling & said “don’t worry,just an error in my system,it’ll better soon”.
Bimo lack of social and interpersonal skill cost him greatly in many social situations.That’s why he spend most of his time alone in a solitary place.He decided to be alone not because he hate people,but because he not used to people or to life inside a group.He always had been an outsider for most of his life until now.He live alone and he die alone.People for him is a new experience.
Bimo's wars were far from over although most of the people said that the war for his generation is already over.He himself was also tired from this war but sadly,he can’t quit now because he still has mission to do as a sweeper for his generation.And he just want to atone from his past sin,that maybe there is a salvation out there for his soul
Toward so many door, we find our way, our self, our home........toward so many thing we find our place, our way here in the world
Life is just a way, a way toward some place, toward some time, toward some mission........and finally toward our home
Toward the path, we faces what we have to face.........we can't run away from it, we can't hide from it.........when the time comes
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Kevin Sites Blog : Kevin is a Freelance Solo Journalist currently assign for NBC Asia. He is rarely post something new but his post is worth to wait. He alos had a Ph.D degree that make his post were quiet unique for it
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Thursday, July 21, 2005
Arrogance?.......or simply Ignorance?
I wake up this morning feeling staggered…….very cold today indeed. As I look into the sky, the nature seems cloudy again, seem like going to be rain soon enough. Then I wondered myself……this is the month of July isn’t it? Then how come it still raining heavily because we are in the middle of dry season? Yesterday were raining, the day before yesterday were more and more raining……………and today were not differ than yesterday…….there’s been heavily intense rain for about a week or so
Then I question myself…….what the problem……what happen to the Mother Nature? And then I question myself again……..is this the way how nature want to taught us? To remember us how arrogance we become? To make us realized how small we are in the presence of nature? To let us see that we were merely a dust in the wind?
Well…….human has been very arrogance lately…….I see many report about illegal logging, a powerful country that doesn’t want to sign and act for the new environment act, people who like to litter everywhere, some top artist cloth with a endangered animal species soon to be extinct, and pollution from some spoiled little brat (my friend use to called them AGJ or AGATA – stand for Anak Gaul Jakarta / Jakarta Trend Kid) modification car...............and the list goes on
I hear people in many TV channel urged people to keep the environment healthy, but I doubt many will hear about it. Maybe many will do it because it is the trend for today…..like when there is a large scale earthquake in Aceh and everybody push forward to help……..but how about for tomorrow? Do human really care? Do we really care? Or maybe we only care when it’s already threaten us, our existence….but if it is right, maybe it’s already to late.
Every time I remember about this problem, I always imagine human as a great locust swarm, they migrate from one place to another, they thrash the field…..and they move on to another field to thrash it again….and the cycle goes on. The locust doesn’t even care about planting back for further use……
Do Human the so-called “The finest of God’s Creation” were fallen so low like a locust? And then again, do human ourselves, our believe that make us fallen….because we are believe we are the finest creation and so we can do anything we want as the finest of all creation? And we forget about balance between chaos and order of nature?
And then…the nature get pissed of, launching a series of campaign against human with all the nature got on its sleeve…….earthquake, tsunamis, tornado everywhere………and then, after all the catastrophes, we human finally realize the need to preserve the nature……………………………….or do we? Or we just angry and blame it to God? (Yeah…..blame it to God!!! God doesn’t care does He!!! Or maybe He care but we doesn’t want to hear His warning because our arrogance and ignorance)………….or we blame it to the government….or somebody else as long as we got a scapegoat to blame……and then human ….will never grow up. Do human really need a redeemer?
Posted at 7/21/2005 10:50:10 pm by The Beloved Lucifiel
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Monday, May 09, 2005
okay.....alright......enough.......
I had enough of all this mess, no more doing the stuff......no more trying to help somebody in need........no more even care about all of it......
i decided to take a break, quit, and repairing my life.............. out of this kind of mess
had to move on............doing the best for a long run.........]
............and yes, i'm not sealing myself.....i just need a very long vacation.......disappear for a while, enjoying myself & of course my life..........not thinking about any of it
just meditate........and have some fun
Posted at 5/9/2005 12:07:02 am by The Beloved Lucifiel
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Tuesday, May 03, 2005
..............what happened with me???????
for the past few weeks or so, i keep asking myself.....what am i, who am i, what is wrong with me.......
i know i tried so hard to fixs my problem, try so hard to complete my circle
......and suddenly i let loose my dark nature that i tried to be remain sealed in my body.......and then you can guest....shit happen.....i'm falling into my darker mind and i do the darker thing...
i don't know how to describe it....but i know i breaking my rule, trespassess the border that i made, and i'm too reckless...trying so hard to take away the pain of my system
after that....i try to iniciated my self-destruct sequence, blaming and blaming myself for all the ruins i made......but i can't....
the self destruct sequence were canceled by something i don't even know what it is ( may be GOD???don't know), and i am...........sitting on ashes and wearing a sackcloth......blaming all to myself for all the ruins.....
how can i redeem? how can i blot all the sin i'm doing? how can i fixs the ruins i made?
i ask to GOD why GOD made me........
i ask to GOD why i have this.....why i can't become just a simple human like everyone else, or at least become just a simple standard newtype just like every newtype i meet.......
why o my dear GOD, why..............i still alive with this kind of state....
why......do You put "The Most Beloved" into my body.....
why.......do You gave this hardship...beyond anything i have dreamed about........
what i really am? who i really am......please answer me my beloved GOD......
Posted at 5/3/2005 12:14:36 am by The Beloved Lucifiel
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Sunday, April 17, 2005
I dont know why, for the past weeks 'till now i felt something wrong and i cannot describe why i feel it.
I admit for the past weeks and so, i spend my time practicing Theater, preparing preformance for MURI (Indonesia Record Museum) 24 Hour Record Breaking Theaterical Performance, and i work for 2 different Theater......Theater Teladan (because i'm a member of it since my Highschool & i'm starting online again in it) and Theater UI (because that's my campus Theater & my junior in Theater Teladan who were also study in my campus found out my existence). The performance work successfull, everyone happy, the record were broke out, and greeting each other.............................................
But...........somehow.........i feel grief......i feel sorrow, pain in my chest.........and another emotional unstability...................seem like, i have to go...........that my time where so short........and loneliness even to know the fact that i'm in the middle of a big celebration......
I try to keep low, keep everything check, keep to handle all the feeling inside, keep to stay focus for my work and go on with it..........but i can't even handle myself when i watch "Hitam Putih" performance in the stage........i'm so absorb in it until tears suddenly flow from my eyes.
I know the burden i'm carrying where such a heavy one and until now, no one can carry it except me.............but i'm grow too tired to carry it myself without anyone helping or at least anyone to become my companion along the way to ease my pain.
I'm sorry God if i such a cry-baby, but i can't run away from the fact that i have my own flaw
Please, give me strength at least for today so i can make it through the day
Posted at 4/17/2005 10:16:18 pm by The Beloved Lucifiel
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Thursday, March 31, 2005
Finally, after some hard work & so many things to do, i wrote again.
Today i have some topic that i had in mind when i start to play "Risk Your Life" (damn Yogi, he made me enjoy playing this)
The main thing i want to write is, Human tend to be so cruel and obviously & absolutely insane to "others" that is not categorized as a Human being. For example, in warfare rule & code of honor, human were forbidden to decapitated or taking life of Prisoner of War.....but that only work for Human againts Human. What if the war is not Human againts Human, but Human against "Other being" that's not qualified as a human? Human will exdposed it's true nature as a top predator of all, a predator that" more devil than a devil itself".
This topic remind me of a very good film i saw on TV a long time ago, a film called "Space : Above and Beyond". the Film picturized clearly some true nature, cruelty, and insanity of human when its battle their non-human enemy. The main culprit itself in the movie were the Human ( the corporation for exactly ). Because their supreme lust for total wealth, they wage a war that make all Human race fight for them.......the rest were total damnation that you have to see it for yourself.
Why i mention this??? Lately, people tend to categorized humanity itself. Where you not a part of some category, you were labelled as"non-Human" or "Other". The Totally & Fanatically Moslem labelled the non-Moslem as a "dog" because they are not a Moslem, The Ultra-right Jews labelled the non-Jew as "something more lesser than a dog", and so the story goes on.
Why people look at other as a lesser being because he or she is different than everybody else??? Why people categorized other with their own measure?? Do you know that you will be judge with the same measure you judge??
Posted at 3/31/2005 4:13:55 am by The Beloved Lucifiel
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Thursday, March 17, 2005
Something to answer......for my beloved friend Sisie
Last Night, Sisie, my junior & my Friend Ruli's girlfriend asking me some question that quite interesting for me. She asking why i'm turning mainstream lately. She is notice that something changing in me. My Dress style, my hair style, and all my behaviour were suddenly changing toward the so called mainstream culture and She point out that there is some reason behind all of this.
Well, i still the good ol' Aryo here, despise all the changing in me. I still with all my idealistic thinking and some sort of it. But.....yes, i like a coin with 2 sides in it, trying to comprehent the changing situation to get along better. As you know from your observation, that i'm a Gemini with a dualistic nature, i try my best to coop-up with the current situation as i possibly can. I prefer called myself a Mirror, because people tend to see me just as they want it to be. I just enjoy it as everyday i enjoy myself.
One thing for sure that at least i have to move on, to keep on going. Find a better job, finish my college, and settle myself. I can't just like this and wander, or just stuck here without any forward plan anymore. Even thought i don't really like the mainstream culture, but i try to educate them slowly with the way they can except them. But if it's their choice to stay ignorant......let them take the consequence by themself, that not my problem.
i hope i can answer your question with it but i belive it's not enough for you, so we can keep discust this later on
Posted at 3/17/2005 3:32:30 pm by The Beloved Lucifiel
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Thursday, February 17, 2005
Casshern ni Yarareba..............
There is a great film i were waiting for.....okay the film were already show in Japan but i really really wanted to see it......AGAIN. The main theme of this movie is about "why must we keep fighting". Set in an unique Retro-Futuristic Alternate World, "Casshern" address this theme in a powerful drama. The theme itself for me were quite heavy and basic, theme about what we are and who we are, and why we keep fighting among each other, and why we must keep fighting for ourself. Enjoy the movie, it's one of the most beautiful movie i have see and i just want to see it again & again
Story taken from the official site :
An alternate world with an alternate history.
The entire planet was divided between two opposing alliances.
After fifty years of bitter warfare, the Greater Eastern Federation triumphs over the forces of Europa and gains dominion over the Eurasian continent.
However, this is an empty victory. Years of chemical, biological and nuclear war have poisoned the land and left an exhausted population at the mercy of every pestilence and newly-mutated disease.
It seems that there's little hope for humanity's future. Debate rages over the chances of finding some way to stave off the seemingly-inevitable decline of civilization.
One man comes forward with a possible solution. Dr. Azuma is a geneticist who proposes a "neo-cell" treatment that can rejuvenate the body and regenerate humankind. He's driven in his studies by a desire to save his beloved wife, Midori, from the ravages of pollution-related disease.
He appeals for funding to the government but the politicians in the Health Ministry turn him down, fearing that the new technology will threaten their entrenched powers.
However, a sinister faction in the powerful military makes a secret offer to provide the support he needs to further his research.
When an incident occurs in the lab that sends the Professor's "neo-cell" cloning experiment haywire, a race of mutant human beings (Shinzo Ningen) is unleashed upon the world.
Instead of being the savior of mankind, the Professor's miraculous technology looks set to threaten its very existence...
This picture is one of my favorite picture for the leasing of the movie
Posted at 2/17/2005 10:26:21 pm by The Beloved Lucifiel
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Monday, February 14, 2005
something regarding The Valentine Day
Many people say (mostly, young people) tonight is a Valentine Night, and tomorrow was a Valentine Day. For many people that celebrate it, Valentine Day was a Love & Lovers day, a day when u buy a beautiful Valentine Gift or Chocolate for your beloved one, spend a romantic evening in a candle light dinner, take a walk hand-to-hand with your beloved one, and spend moat of your time in love &romantic thing with your beloved one, etc. The main point is, due to the popular belief, u have to be with ur beloved one went The Valentine Day comes, or u are just an unlucky person that happen to have such a disaster misfortune event. But there some question arose, do they know about the origin of The Valentine Day? I believe they only know a very brief history of the event (if they really know...sigh). As far as i can get, many people just know a very little fact about The Valentine Day. Many just don't want to even care about the real meaning of the event, they just take a little bit of it and make a fun of it.
okay we will start from the beginning. The History of the event were based from the martyrdom event of Saint Valentine in about 1 or 2 century AD. That was the time where the Christian Church were persecuted & banish by The Roman Empire and Saint Valentine were among the victim of it. Saint Valentine itself were a missionary, a people who preach about Christianity & Gospel, and practice it dilligently with their attitude. Saint Valentine itself were so famous because of his attitude toward people specially outcast people, people that were socially banish from the public. He help them, comfort them, and stand before them against injustice from most of the public. He even stand before a slave to help them to be a free man ( in the ancient world, a human that turned to be slave were NOT a human, He's/She's JUST a thing, a thing that can be wasted easily, they even more low than an animal). Because of his action, St Valentine were arrested, and put to jail. He's condemned mocking tthe emperor and sentenced a death penalty. The justice court itself were far from just, based from emperor decree the judge decided the cases before St Valentine even speak a word or two as a plea.
But St Valentine itself remain calm the whole court, and he accept the sentence with a very glad heart, at least he's happy to know he's worthy enough to suffer Christ's suffering to the death. In the cell, he quickly made a friend with everyone, and on the day of his end, he send a letter to all his judge, jailer and executioner and everyone that condemned him, that he love them and forgave them for all harm they done to him. He even added that in the prison 'till now, he always pray to God for them, for they benefit, so they can have an everlasting happiness. Even in the face of death, St Valentine keep smiling and pray to God for them so God have mercy on their soul. Because of his letter on the day of his death, many of the jailer, gladiator, executioner and judge repent for their sin, and becoming a very strong & faithfull Christian. That the very brief history of this event.
The true meaning of this event is of course LOVE. But not the love many people ever think about, not the love that we share among our friend, partner, beloved one etc, but TO LOVE EVERYONE AS TO LOVE YOURSELF. If we love everyone that love us, there is not any single use of it, but if we love our enemy as ourself, that the main key of all the love of it.
St Valentine try to love everyone just like God love every human, despise all they action toward everyone and toward God. And he came to a more higher aspect, that is to love your enemies as yourself.
Always remember that....this event were not for another fun. The Old Church always celebrate this event as The Annual Feast of Saint Valentine. And the real meaning were as i described earlier in the beginning, to memoir the martyrdom & death of Saint Valentine. It's not a very impoertant event though
And for the love-love couple action,...............well.....u all better do that thing not in the Valentine day only, but anytime u got a chance to do it......even for ever and ever.
If your love were very great, if you're a lover, and if you love everyone just as what it's,....
if u really really know the true meaning of it..........then everyday can become a Valentine Day if u try to love
Posted at 2/14/2005 4:12:02 am by The Beloved Lucifiel
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Saturday, February 12, 2005
Preparing for Final Paper Expedition......Another Journey
Finally i found a way (and time) to upload some file to my Ripway account. It's a very nice web actually, when u can keep some file on the net and access it from anywhere. I tell u all that Ripway have some solution i need on keeping my database out
For now i have to prepare my expediton again soon. Some prepared plan is must if i have to get around Yogyakarta - Solo - Semarang just for another round of finding data. Archaeology data were of course rare indeed, and expensive too. Sometime it not available in the surface and we have to dig deep down on it. By the way, i'm now also try to fill my Virtual Tourist database. Virtual Tourist were a very good website for people that like to travel anywhere, because we can share to other about the place & anything we want about traveling. I like to travel, to see various place in the world or maybe in the universe. But i wonder......why i always found myself ended up in a "legendary, certainly, certified, infamous Haunted place", or any place that got a very very deep mystical aura inside it.....that a very BIG question i have to answer later on.
I also try to fill some of my Deviant Art account, and it been very hard for me to fll it because it seem that i have lost any inspiration here. The Deviant Art itself were some good website were u can have your home-made art posted by u........just same as if u have a blog or two. Maybe i start it with some writing or something.
time to chill out and enjoy the rose, i happen to hear my stomach calling me for some flling inside. By the way, i like tonight theme song in my Computer, it's a very up-beat song sung by KOTOKO to AKI called "Prime". The song is very very up-beat, i try soo much not to just dance around (well i DO dance around.....can't be helped, my body just dance by itself)...i don't have any lyric of the song but i tell u that this is a nice song indeed.
Posted at 2/12/2005 12:45:46 am by The Beloved Lucifiel
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Friday, February 11, 2005
another reflection......about this late day
at last another time to write about something.......another reflection about what happen to me lately.
well.....i quiet surprised to see the gap generation between i and my junior on my High School Theater Club. I myself comes from The 22th generation, compared with them, The 28th to 31th generation. I came back again after some 7 years of vacuum, and after some 7 years of business in my campus.
My High School, 3 Setiabudi High (or SMU 3) were a famous school indeed......a very famous school. Here we can found the most upper class of Jakarta, girls and boys who were comes from influence people of Indonesia, teenage movie star, magazine cover girls & boys, models, and other who were think that spending some million rupiah just for 1 day is cheap.....(well, to them 300,000.00 Rp just for a little piece of cake are cheap...... after all, they shop in Singapore, take a bath in Bangkok, eat in Hongkong, and sleep in Tokyo if they want to). This neighbourhood is the place were i was raised up, a neighbourhood of total glamour, were money is like a trash that can be spend just like u drink water, were social status is more than anything u have dream about, were wealth is a way to get anything u want.......etc. I can't event say what is that life like.
But there some darker side in this glamourous life. Here we can found a place where liberal sociality were practice, free sex were a common issue between the student just like talking about new cloth, drugs running like water, and innocent & moral were traded just for "a happy-go-lucky 1 night stand". Here the world were i swore i'm not going to enter it again, my darker world were i just try so hard to come out of it.............and the world were i plung into it once again, for some unknown reason.
I myself were enough of it for sure, enough for all the vanity happiness in it, but i know that one day this day will arrive again....the day were i have to face all of this again, face my fear of being drifted along again in the stream and force my way out again and again. I know i don't really like the mainstream trend because of the way i feel it when i'm in it, but i can deny how the mainstream were so successfull to reach the the young people smply because it's look's cool, look's great, etc. And i can deny the fact that the mainstream was something i have to entered bvecause i have to, while deep down inside me, i hope for the world were everybody were equall & can express him/herself more and more freely.
i'm tired.....maybe a sleep would will do better for me
i end it with some Lyric from Shiina Ringo song called STEM - Daimyou Asobi Hen, i happen to hear this song when i write this and it's touch me. I hear that this song were dedicated for "Casshern The Movie" that will launched this year
Stem - Daimyou Asobi Hen
by Shiina Ringo
There's a door here, but it will not break
There's a stone there, but it won't remain
Up there a heaven now, but it will not wait
And the lies there, the scent of it, just too much
So should you,
Saw it once and make it grow, the sweet clematis
Let it flower, and paint it all of the colors bold
Instantly things fall and fade, return to silence
Why oh why, why does it all feel so sorrowful?
Dreams of what is real
There's a breath here, but it will not break
There's a face there, but it won't remain
Up there a heaven now, but it knows no name
And the stain is the color of red through red
And thus,
You cannot cry, confuse the lies, try to remember
When you rise, you take your steps with a strong desire
Time goes by, a breath it comes, like something given
Why oh why, why have these nightmares not long expired
The real is but a dream
From now on,
Should it grow and open full, the sweet clematis
Flower bold, but there's no need for rejoicing more
Precious life, this life, just once, it comes just one time
Keep it close, keep it from ever just leaving you
Crying tears confusing fears they are no longer
When I stand I know I'll never be down again
Nothing that I need now, once it comes just one time
Somehow, somehow, someone, ah
Entry Number One
Posted at 2/11/2005 5:57:21 am by The Beloved Lucifiel
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