ATZILUTH, MY BELOVED HOME
ATZILUTH, MY RESTING PLACE
ATZILUTH, MY FINAL DESTINATION

The Beloved is a war-torn veteran, who is looking for a new peaceful life far from the battlefield. The war has torn him so much that he became loner, rather paranoid and develops a rare obsession about data…an effect called Combat Fatigue. He try so hard to cure this with a little effect because…..sadly….the war always looking for him

The Beloved is a pacifist; always try to avoid conflict with anyone or anything. If everything can be solved with a diplomatic way, he prefers to do it rather than an open frontal way. He always tried to maintain balance & his neutrality. However, this doesn’t mean he can’t fight…he just don’t want to. The Beloved can be your most truthful friend who will die for you & your cause and The Beloved can be your worst enemy who will make sure you suffer & die smoothly.

Some says The Beloved were frightening. This is due his nature as a shell for something he doesn’t want to reveal. He always says that his purpose of life is to seal something, and he is quite ready to be called back (that how he described death). He also says that he just waiting his visa to be signed.

The Beloved was a family man. He will protect and care his beloved one to the death even beyond it because, for him that is what remains from his belonging. He says we can buy house, we can acquired wealth, we can takeover a nation, but a good happy family is a gift from God and to maintain it is one hell of a job.

The Beloved now were looking for someone who will succeed him.He just wants to pass his knowledge.He himself feel that he is growing too old and need to settle down continuing life as it is.His days are now counted although he never knows when it ends.

The Beloved was a commando unit,able to work alone on any multiple tasks without the help of others.The world has taught him to grow up like that, to trust no one,to be always perfectionist,to set a high standard in everything,and to maintain “I can do it by myself” kind of attitude.Sadly,all of his ability comes with a terrible price, his lack of social and interpersonal skill.He like to be alone and stay in the shadow,watching people passing by.He keep his grief, pain and suffering to himself Nobody know what happened to him until suddenly they see him lying on a hospital bed, with a bloody arms and said “I’m okay,never been to better than this” or until suddenly he collapse in a bench with a pain in his face but he keep smiling & said “don’t worry,just an error in my system,it’ll better soon”.

The Beloved lack of social and interpersonal skill cost him greatly in many social situations.That’s why he spend most of his time alone in a solitary place.He decided to be alone not because he hate people,but because he not used to people or to life inside a group.He always had been an outsider for most of his life until now.He live alone and he die alone.People for him is a new experience.

The Beloved's wars were far from over although most of the people said that the war for his generation is already over.He himself was also tired from this war but sadly,he can’t quit now because he still has mission to do as a sweeper for his generation.And he just want to atone from his past sin,that maybe there is a salvation out there for his soul
   

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Toward so many door, we find our way, our self, our home........toward so many thing we find our place, our way here in the world




Life is just a way, a way toward some place, toward some time, toward some mission........and finally toward our home




Toward the path, we faces what we have to face.........we can't run away from it, we can't hide from it.........when the time comes





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    Friday, June 15, 2007
    A Very – Very Weird Reflection : 3rd Case

    On the Sunday evening 10th May 2007, I saw a news in television about a demonstration in Jakarta ( I happen to be in Semarang that day ), a big demonstration with a very big mass. The demonstration were rallied by Prosperous Justice Party ( or Partai Keadilan Sejahtera ), and they make a very big statement in Monas asking for the Independence of Palestine and for the destruction & damnation of Israelites nation + Jews ( that the conclusion I have…and they also said it explicitly ).

     

    Then a big question came out on my head.

     

    Indonesia still one of the poorest & corrupted nation in the world, with its low GNP, its great gap between the rich and the poor, its never-ending disaster, its mixes of Tsunami, Earthquake, Volcano Eruption & Hot Mud, its clash between people with people, its conflict region, its Human Right problem, its unsolved traumatic case, its terrorism case, and so on, and so on, and so on

     

    ……….and suddenly, this party and its very big (thousand of people present on that demonstration) follower are asking for the independence of Palestine?....don’t tell me they are ready to fight there as a volunteer…..just like in Afghanistan  or Iraq……

     

    I don’t know what to say…….

     

    Indonesia still its darkest hour and they are urging for the independence of Palestine??

     

    I can’t say anything at all……I can’t even say they are fool….or wise….or in-between…..because…….Indonesia still in a deep hole and they are urging for the Independence of Palestine …..

     

    Man…….that’s something…..

     

    Okay….apart from thinking about the well - being of Indonesia, they prefer to think about the independence of Palestine. Apart from thinking about how to repair and restore Indonesia at least to the point of equal prosperity, they prefer to think about Palestine’s freedom..

     

    ….so are they Palestinian?.... nope, of course not, they are Indonesian.

     

    But why we…..Indonesian have to think about Palestine’s independence when Indonesia still in its darkest hour? Why we…. Indonesia have to think about Palestine’s independence when Indonesia still in ruin?

     

    Why don’t we think about our well – being first rather than others well – being, specially Palestine

    …….besides, if we think about the brotherhood of Moslem nation, there is some wealthy Islamic nation such as Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates and Jordania that very – very prosperous with a high GNP, billion dollar from oil trade, and their leader have many mansion in every side of the world…..they can help for the independence of Palestine can they?

     

    Even if we succeeded to send our reinforcement to free Palestine from Israel, what did we get? Are we got something?

     

    As far as I know, when Indonesia is in trouble because Aceh Tsunami Disaster on December 2004, the first helping hand and volunteer that came are NOT from any Islamic country or Islamic nation in Indonesia and the world……even from those so called party……but from what those they labeled as infidel, kafir, dirty, and enemy…..

     

    Yep……, the first helping hand and volunteer that arrive on the first day after the disaster came from Jewish and Christian Charity Organization….and still today donate to make Aceh restored again and Aceh people prosperous…

     

    The second helping hand and volunteer that arrive on the very first week came from still not from Islamic country but from country such as China & Russia ( a communist country ), Japan, and European country…….and of course America with it USS Abraham Lincoln that carry enough equipment to distribute logistic & evacuate many refugees

     

    Then….where is the Islamic Nation? Do they help?.....as far as I know, they only sent a message, telling the government & people of Indonesia to stay calm, to keep their courage so they can prevail this disaster

    Are the Islamic nation sending help?.....I can’t see anyone on the field, specially those Palestinian or Arabs, but I do see some Israelites carrying a rotten corpse of a tsunami victim.

     

    The same goes also inside the country….

     

    The first helping hand and volunteer from inside the country came from Non-Moslem Charity Organization, such as Christians, Hindu and Buddhist organization. And I hate to admit I saw most of them pray before the carrying the corpses of tsunami victim….and they prevailed to work for more than a month clean up that mess

     

    ……..do I see some of those party or fanatical Islamic organizations in the field? I do saw them….but they are stun immobilized to see the tsunami impact….and finally need to be send home rather than became a burden in the disaster area. Most of them doesn’t even stand a week …..save for a month or so. Most of them became a burden, not equipped properly for the situation, not mentally ready to see such an impact, not trained properly to handle that kind of situation, and doesn’t even know what to do…. They end up inside a plane becoming refugees itself, or in a hospital receiving treatment for a severe traumatic syndrome.

     

    The fanatical Islamic organization and those party itself?....don’t ask me….I know nothing about it…..and I don’t want to think about it……

     

    But, I do know one thing…… that a good metallic drum have a great sound


    Posted at 6/15/2007 8:39:08 pm by The Beloved Lucifiel

     

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