ATZILUTH, MY BELOVED HOME
ATZILUTH, MY RESTING PLACE
ATZILUTH, MY FINAL DESTINATION

The Beloved is a war-torn veteran, who is looking for a new peaceful life far from the battlefield. The war has torn him so much that he became loner, rather paranoid and develops a rare obsession about data…an effect called Combat Fatigue. He try so hard to cure this with a little effect because…..sadly….the war always looking for him

The Beloved is a pacifist; always try to avoid conflict with anyone or anything. If everything can be solved with a diplomatic way, he prefers to do it rather than an open frontal way. He always tried to maintain balance & his neutrality. However, this doesn’t mean he can’t fight…he just don’t want to. The Beloved can be your most truthful friend who will die for you & your cause and The Beloved can be your worst enemy who will make sure you suffer & die smoothly.

Some says The Beloved were frightening. This is due his nature as a shell for something he doesn’t want to reveal. He always says that his purpose of life is to seal something, and he is quite ready to be called back (that how he described death). He also says that he just waiting his visa to be signed.

The Beloved was a family man. He will protect and care his beloved one to the death even beyond it because, for him that is what remains from his belonging. He says we can buy house, we can acquired wealth, we can takeover a nation, but a good happy family is a gift from God and to maintain it is one hell of a job.

The Beloved now were looking for someone who will succeed him.He just wants to pass his knowledge.He himself feel that he is growing too old and need to settle down continuing life as it is.His days are now counted although he never knows when it ends.

The Beloved was a commando unit,able to work alone on any multiple tasks without the help of others.The world has taught him to grow up like that, to trust no one,to be always perfectionist,to set a high standard in everything,and to maintain “I can do it by myself” kind of attitude.Sadly,all of his ability comes with a terrible price, his lack of social and interpersonal skill.He like to be alone and stay in the shadow,watching people passing by.He keep his grief, pain and suffering to himself Nobody know what happened to him until suddenly they see him lying on a hospital bed, with a bloody arms and said “I’m okay,never been to better than this” or until suddenly he collapse in a bench with a pain in his face but he keep smiling & said “don’t worry,just an error in my system,it’ll better soon”.

The Beloved lack of social and interpersonal skill cost him greatly in many social situations.That’s why he spend most of his time alone in a solitary place.He decided to be alone not because he hate people,but because he not used to people or to life inside a group.He always had been an outsider for most of his life until now.He live alone and he die alone.People for him is a new experience.

The Beloved's wars were far from over although most of the people said that the war for his generation is already over.He himself was also tired from this war but sadly,he can’t quit now because he still has mission to do as a sweeper for his generation.And he just want to atone from his past sin,that maybe there is a salvation out there for his soul
   

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Toward so many door, we find our way, our self, our home........toward so many thing we find our place, our way here in the world




Life is just a way, a way toward some place, toward some time, toward some mission........and finally toward our home




Toward the path, we faces what we have to face.........we can't run away from it, we can't hide from it.........when the time comes





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    Friday, June 15, 2007
    A Very – Very Weird Reflection : 2nd Case

    Still on Saturday, when I escort my mother to a funeral preparation, I noticed a couple of big banner near my house, a very big and exciting banner from my perception. The big banner told about some kind of community, saying things about “Majlis Taraweh & Dzikir” led by a Habib or something (Habib is some kind a word for leader of assembly in Islam…..that word were new to me, supposedly coming from Middle East Islam like Afghanistan, Pakistan, or Iran) whose name were Arabs like Umar al-Habib or something. Then another thing came right through my head about the name. I recall, most of the fanatical organization in Indonesia were led by people with an Arabic name, such as Djafar Umar Thalib from the infamous Laskar Jihad, or Habib Riziq Shihab from the infamous Front Pembela Islam and of course not forget to mention Abu Bakar Basyir who’s become a prime suspect for leading the infamous terrorists organization Jamaah Islamiyah who’s responsible for Bali Bombing & J.W.Merriot Bombing (not to mention Christmas Bombing)

     

    Okay, I’m here not to wrote those name, those organization, or those rather exciting fanatical things who trying to make Indonesia to become like Taliban, but to talks about names…..Arabic Name.

     

    As I once remember, people from many country name their kid with name that resemble their identity, heritage and country although nowadays most people in the city prefer to mix-and-match those names.

     

    For example, Javanese will name its boy like this; Raden Mas Gatotkaca Antarejo Brawijoyo Joyonegoro Sudwikatmono, or its girl like this; Raden Ajeng Mahardika Kusumawardhani Tribuwana Tungghadewi (notice the name?). So goes with Balinese ; I Gede Made Ktut Jelantik, or Batak people; Otto Barito Paringotan Manurung. The same things go on in scoop of nation like Chinese; Xi Zhou Yu, or Japanese like; Takeshi Kanimura……..or even Israelites like; Yehuda Yehezkiel and Germany like; Karl Otto von Runsendt.

     

    The example for mix-and-match in Indonesia is like Jupiter Marijan Kartosuwiryo or Isabella Casablanca Barito Sibutar-Butar…and don’t forget, Christians have their baptism names

     

    The point is, most of the name show where you came from, what your identity is, where do you belong to, and what do you descended from. Therefore, if the name was Jafar Al-Habib Al Kubaishyi so we will assume you are from Middle East or have a Middle East Descent or Arab specifically.

     

    Then the question is why they are labeled as a natives Indonesia when the 1998 May Riot happened? When the riot happened, there is this case of Natives and Non-Natives or “Pribumi” and “Non - Pribumi”, and a tension between them. The so called Natives or Pribumi were people from Malay ethnic or people from Indonesian descent; the Non – Natives or “Non – Pribumi” were people with non – Indonesia descent. But lately, the so called “Non – Natives” or “Non – Pribumi” definition were labeled only & only to people with Chinese descent, like intended to have a legalization to wipe them out, pillage them, rape them and burn them…(that justification happened on the riot….and until now, nobody says something about it or even a regret)…….

     

    And the question remain

     

    The Arabian descents were NOT natives if we want to classify them. They don’t even sound like one of it, if you get from their names like Jafar Al-Habib Al Kubaisyi. The Chinese descent is more natives than them in the term of names because they use names like Budiman Tjanuwidjaja or Benyamin Santoso. The differences between them is their religion were Jafar Al-Habib Al Kubaisyi was identical with Moslem, Budiman Tjanuwidjaja and Benyamin Santoso were identical with Christians or Buddhist. And for fanatical Moslem, anything that not Moslem were “Kafir” or dirty or tainted that need to be cleanse with anything even with violent way. And the story goes…..

     

    I’m wrote this not to mock or because I hate Moslem because I have family & friend that are Moslem……and they are very dear to me…

    I wrote this for the sake of humanity…because I hate to admit that most people judge something just from its cover. They say people were good just because that people have a very good and beautiful Islamic Arabian Names, or because that people came from Islamic Arabian Country. They forget that names, religion, and country doesn’t decide if that person is good or bad. As far as I know, most of those people that make chaos everywhere in Indonesia have a good beautiful Islamic Arabian name like Abu Dujana, Hambali, Djafar Umar Thalib, Habib Riziq Shihab, Amrozy, and Abu Bakar Basyir.

     

    Why I mention them as a chaos maker? Because they always make a front page news in a bad way.


    Posted at 6/15/2007 8:37:10 pm by The Beloved Lucifiel

     

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